You were my best friend.  And then you ripped my heart out and walked away. Destroying my heart in my process.  How you could just walk away after everything we shared is beyond me.  You were callous and ice cold to me.  You would have been kinder to an absolute stranger than you were to me that fateful day.

I’ll never see your face.  I’ll never watch the light dance in your eyes as I walk up to you and find you staring back at me, with a smile on your face. I’ll never feel your hand hold mine.  Or hear your laugh.  Or share hours in bed with you fulfilling each other’s fantasies.  Writing to one another- engaging each other’s minds.

I’ll never love anyone like you.












This song started streaming as I drove home from my run just now.  And of course, I thought of you while tears streamed down my face.  You always told me how beautiful I was.  I can feel you around me right now, surrounded by your sweet words.  Your beautiful declarations to my inner beauty and strength.  I can still remember every word you wrote to me…


Your intelligence and beauty shines through

A beauty that was eternal and no one could take away from you

A beauty that is only going to get better with time

A beauty that brings out the best in others

A beauty that makes the lives around you exponentially better

A beauty that inspires others

A beauty that is inherently a part of who you are



…and then the light changes.  And I’m snapped out of remembering your words.  And us.  And the pure vulnerability we shared.  I start driving yet again, half reminiscing- half listening back to the lyrics of this song.  Then the tears come on in full force as the last line is sung.  Life- and a great love story.  It always ends like this doesn’t it?

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful, it’s true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it’s time to face the truth
I will never be with you


Go stand on your island
Where you are all alone
Not seeing hearts broken
Or hearing wails or moans

Go stand on your island
Wrapped up in your fears
Knowing love is lost
And now covered in tears

Go stand on your island
Where you are safe and sound
Identity protected
Self-made walls abound

Go stand on your island
Where you only see what you see
Perspective is skewed
No consideration of longevity

Go stand on your island
With true identity masked
Hiding from consequences
That will always haunt you and last

Go stand on your island
Continue to pray
As the memories play out
During night and during day

Go stand on your island
You have nothing to fear
No skin in the game
Fake love fake mirrors

Go stand on your island
And stare out from the shore
Watching the tides changing
Drowning in sorrow forever more

Go stand on your island
Free from true vulnerability
No real hope
For growth and complexity

Go stand on your island
And watch the sun slowly set
Hearing my voice cry
I can’t believe we never met