In April 2011, my husband confessed to cheating on me.  My life and marriage would never be the same.  Our dynamic changed instantly.  Him always feeling the need to make things up to me.  Me now feeling like I was in the drivers seat of our marriage.

I hated our new dynamic.  And I tried to change things between us.

Three years later, I entered into an affair myself.  I yearned for an alpha male and got exactly what I wanted….a sexually adventurous CEO who swept me off my feet and into a fantasy world.

This is my story.


15 thoughts on “About

  1. I’m curious, was your husband more alpha before the affair and became more beta as a result of trying to compensate for what he’d done?

    By the way, I know you’re busy with saving your marriage and keeping the kiddos alive, but I just wanted to let you know that I miss your posts and look forward to reading more in the future. I hope you can find the time to write more in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. He’s always been a beta, while I am the alpha. And I have always yearned for him to be more of a leader in our marriage. After he confessed though, those beta attributes were magnified a thousand times. He was so afraid of making any mistake, he became a ‘yes’ husband. A wet noodle if you will. No backbone whatsoever and just paralyzed to make any decisions. Interestingly, at work, he was always much more assertive. But once he came home, he totally switched back into beta mode. I’ll save that for a post one day…and yes, I plan to write more. Just busy living life!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is very interesting, I had never thought about the ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ dynamic. Now I’m trying to figure out who’s the ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ in our marriage. I don’t know. Will have to analyze more.
    Thank you for sharing and writing your story too. It helps to connect with others.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m curious to start reading your entire blog. What do you have in store for me? lol I’m sure I’ll love it. And I’ll probably see some similarities between your marriage and mine. With gender roles reversed.


  5. I have a somewhat odd question, or suggestion if you want to take it to that level. Vivienne… An attractive woman? Beta? Would your husband like her? I know, this is completely mental and probably counterproductive and unhealthy as a suggestion, but it’s society that tells us one man, one woman forever. In the context of everything, if such an arrangement could be made, that might solve a lot of problems. In case I’m being too vague, I’m suggesting something of a marriage of four, so to speak. An arrangement where you and your husband, Niall and his wife, have some sort of coming to terms, some affair based on loyalty, a seeming contradiction in terms.

    If I’m making no sense or being ridiculous, it’s because today is my birthday, and I’m having some drinks while I read WordPress. I can still type just fine because that’s my superpower. It’s the thoughts I’m typing that may be slurred, lol.


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