In April 2011, my husband confessed to cheating on me. My life and marriage would never be the same. Our dynamic changed instantly. Him always feeling the need to make things up to me. Me now feeling like I was in the drivers seat of our marriage.
I hated our new dynamic. And I tried to change things between us.
Three years later, I entered into an affair myself. I yearned for an alpha male and got exactly what I wanted….a sexually adventurous CEO who swept me off my feet and into a fantasy world.
This is my story.
I’m curious, was your husband more alpha before the affair and became more beta as a result of trying to compensate for what he’d done?
By the way, I know you’re busy with saving your marriage and keeping the kiddos alive, but I just wanted to let you know that I miss your posts and look forward to reading more in the future. I hope you can find the time to write more in the future.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s always been a beta, while I am the alpha. And I have always yearned for him to be more of a leader in our marriage. After he confessed though, those beta attributes were magnified a thousand times. He was so afraid of making any mistake, he became a ‘yes’ husband. A wet noodle if you will. No backbone whatsoever and just paralyzed to make any decisions. Interestingly, at work, he was always much more assertive. But once he came home, he totally switched back into beta mode. I’ll save that for a post one day…and yes, I plan to write more. Just busy living life!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is very interesting, I had never thought about the ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ dynamic. Now I’m trying to figure out who’s the ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ in our marriage. I don’t know. Will have to analyze more.
Thank you for sharing and writing your story too. It helps to connect with others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
FYI – I nominated you for an ‘inspiring blogger award.’ Thank for being so awesome! https://recoveringwomancaughtinadultery.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/inspiring-blogger-award/
LikeLike
Awwww, thank you RW!
I am off to celebrate my nomination with a glass of vino 🙂
LikeLike
Fascinating…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are a great writer.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Grey! I appreciate the kind words.
LikeLike
You will have to let me know what you think of paulo and if you enjoy his writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m curious to start reading your entire blog. What do you have in store for me? lol I’m sure I’ll love it. And I’ll probably see some similarities between your marriage and mine. With gender roles reversed.
LikeLike
I have a somewhat odd question, or suggestion if you want to take it to that level. Vivienne… An attractive woman? Beta? Would your husband like her? I know, this is completely mental and probably counterproductive and unhealthy as a suggestion, but it’s society that tells us one man, one woman forever. In the context of everything, if such an arrangement could be made, that might solve a lot of problems. In case I’m being too vague, I’m suggesting something of a marriage of four, so to speak. An arrangement where you and your husband, Niall and his wife, have some sort of coming to terms, some affair based on loyalty, a seeming contradiction in terms.
If I’m making no sense or being ridiculous, it’s because today is my birthday, and I’m having some drinks while I read WordPress. I can still type just fine because that’s my superpower. It’s the thoughts I’m typing that may be slurred, lol.
LikeLike
Ha! That made me laugh. Ummm, yeah I’m pretty certain CEO’s wife would never go for that.
Happy Birthday Mr. Cleaver. And what is your drink of choice for this celebration?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a series of very delicious beers my daughter bought for me. Fun times, at home.
LikeLike
Your story has touched a part of something I am going through. I am not in a position to talk to anyone in my circle, would love some support if you ever have the time.
LikeLike
I don’t see anything posted on your site. Ask any questions! I would encourage you to write since your blog is anon, it does help in processing things.
LikeLiked by 1 person